humour / satire

2019 March

Hey, let’s talk about sex!

2019-04-08T21:23:51-04:00March 23rd, 2019|Categories: Hamilton Spectator, Newspaper columns|Tags: , , , , |6 Comments

In a few days the children’s mother and I are at a marriage retreat. It’s our first since I can’t remember when. The invitation, by fluke, came a day after I was propositioned to have an affair. Now, in this space, I don’t talk much about it, sex and all. This is because Mennonites didn’t even know what sex was until 1985,

2019 January

Seeing some things half clearly

2019-06-08T17:22:49-04:00January 19th, 2019|Categories: Hamilton Spectator|Tags: , , , , |10 Comments

"I see you're aging gracefully." This is what he, an old Canadian friend, now overseas, said after seeing my photo complete with beard and glasses. Oh, come on. Already? Now? So soon? Aging gracefully? Really? In truth, the beard comes and goes like pages of a calendar. I shave. I don't shave. My bride, that is my young looking wife, comments on this.

2017 December

For the love of a handwritten letter

2017-12-18T22:22:04-04:00December 2nd, 2017|Categories: Hamilton Spectator|Tags: , , , , |2 Comments

Today’s rumination is about the art of writing. Cursive. For the children out there, you’ll want to ask your parents or grandparents what this is, and how it all works, and why on God’s good earth anyone would involve themselves in it. I feel like a Neanderthal for even mentioning it, but since I’m older than I look I’ll tell you that when I

2017 April

A new holiday, just for talking animals. Really.

2017-05-12T19:55:37-04:00April 1st, 2017|Categories: Hamilton Spectator, Newspaper columns|Tags: , , , , , |2 Comments

One day Adam woke up and looked around and the place was his. He saw the animals. “Lion,” he said, in a manner of speaking. Then “lamb.” And so forth. They all had good relationships. They were at peace, lying around together. It was Eden.

2017 January

No more kids! (But their birthday cakes? Hmm.)

2017-04-10T19:40:48-04:00January 15th, 2017|Categories: Daily Dad|Tags: , , , |0 Comments

It’s been the never ending birthday for our youngest, Hannah, who needs little introduction. She’s the girl who gets in the papers when she becomes a Canadian citizen, the girl who honestly give thanks for her life (and for bypassing the other life she could have had), the girl who Providence shines on in the [...]

2016 October

That’s it. I’m moving to Canada … or … The (lying, monstrous) Donald

2017-04-13T13:45:17-04:00October 25th, 2016|Categories: Daily Dad|Tags: , , , , , |0 Comments

Today’s offering is about Donald Trump. If you have limited time, please instead read this piece on the same subject matter by Michael Coren, in today’s Toronto Star. As I have just told Michael, what he has written is powerful, thoughtful and poignant. It deserves our attention. Thank you, again, Michael. + The New York [...]

2016 September

Talking to my dinner plate again

2017-04-13T13:59:36-04:00September 19th, 2016|Categories: Daily Dad|Tags: , , |0 Comments

So, it’s that time, Single Daddin’ It, again. As you might recall, this is when the children’s mother is out of country and I am left to look at my dinner plate and ask it certain existential questions, like, if I were an animal (I mean, in the furry or feathery sense), just what restaurant [...]