Really Dad, the birds and the bees? You told Jon about the birds and the bees? This is what Liz asked me. I had obviously made a mistake only a nine-year-old big sister could know. What? I said. I didn’t plan it. It just happened. Jon and I were sitting in his garden with the […]
Birds, bees … rabbits Read More »
Walmart is closing all its stores worldwide except for four “life boat” stores. One is in San Francisco. This is what I dreamed last night, sometime after the thunderstorm. In season, it rains hard here. Thus, I suppose, the lifeboats. I told my kids at the breakfast table. Wal Mart is closing. That’s nice, said
Want a lifeboat? Go to Walmart Read More »
The thing about being a kid is that everything is so big, often bigger than in real life. Your home and neighbourhood, the bully at school, your parents … Everything but your younger sister, that is. It came up yesterday when I carried Jon on my shoulders along a dirt road here in Uganda. Am
So the owners called the other night. Actually they texted. Nobody calls anymore. They said I was getting too many friends, too fast. I said no, there’s a mistake, I only have three friends and two of them are our rabbits — Sam and his live-in girlfriend. No, Friends, they said again, with a capital
A billion friends can’t be wrong Read More »
It’s early in the morning on the elliptical with Handel’s Concerti Grossi Op. 3 – it’s always Handel’s Concerti Grossi Op. 3 on the elliptical in the mornings – playing as loud as possible with the windows open, one more reason I am such a top contender for the Neighbour of the Year Award. I’m
Liars, criminals … friends Read More »
Several girls appear to be flat out in love with my son. They’re in his class. He’s 7. Two have proposed. The third has asked him if he’s ever kissed a girl on the lips. This unfolded when Jon was class VIP the other day. He was in front, in his VIP chair, answering questions
Too young to marry Read More »
So, Jon is his class VIP all week, which gives him great power and prestige. For one, he can bring things from home to give a picture of his off-school life. So he brought Sam, his rabbit. Sam, you’ll recall , is one result of our place turning into a sort of funny
I am fatigued, lost, convalescing and having strange nightmares about talking trees and Martians eating cheesecake, but otherwise in good shape on this, my last full day of Single Daddin’ It. I’ve already told the children how immensely proud I am of their great accomplishments and fine behaviour in their mother’s absence, because, whether this
