humour

2017 January

I hereby resolve – No more children, no, not ever

2017-04-16T05:42:49+00:00 January 7th, 2017|Categories: Hamilton Spectator, Newspaper columns|Tags: , , , , , |0 Comments

I don’t know how we get on these things. We were talking about the dog. Next thing we’re talking about my manhood. I don’t know how we get on these things. We were talking about the dog. Next thing we’re talking about my manhood. Did we get the dog fixed? Nobody remembers. The boy thinks yes. The girls say no.

2016 May

The mouse and the dishwasher

2017-05-26T18:13:14+00:00 May 20th, 2016|Categories: Hamilton Spectator, Newspaper columns|Tags: , , , , , |0 Comments

(The Hamilton Spectator - Saturday, May 20, 2016) HAMILTON, CANADA ✦ So it's the middle of the night and my wife walks into the bedroom and says: "There's a mouse in the dishwasher." This is strange even for our household, the sort of announcement that suggests my wife is hallucinating from working way too late, again, or that I'm having one of those dreams.

2015 February

The Nature of Peace – 5 – Lost in translation

2015-02-17T08:33:25+00:00 February 4th, 2015|Categories: Other|Tags: , , , , |0 Comments

This the fifth of several excerpts from an address I gave in Hamilton, Canada in November 2014. Excerpt #1 is here and #2 is here and #3 is here and #4 is here. + If nothing else, when we cross borders we’ll be misunderstood. I remember once we had some Canadian visitors in Uganda and they needed [...]

2014 October

The dangers of too many cats

2014-10-02T07:31:36+00:00 October 2nd, 2014|Categories: Hamilton Spectator, Newspaper columns|Tags: , , , , , , |0 Comments

(The Hamilton Spectator - Saturday, September 27, 2014) KAMPALA, UGANDA ✦ Back in Africa, I’m not overly worried about Ebola on the other side of the continent or even al-Shabab terror cells like the one just busted in a slum here in Uganda’s capital – 19 Somalian suspects were arrested. I’m worried more about my underwear. They could soon all be taken by my daughter and her cats.

2014 February

You’ve heard of Jamaican bobsledders? These are Ugandan hockey players!

2015-01-13T19:08:49+00:00 February 15th, 2014|Categories: Hamilton Spectator, Newspaper columns|Tags: , , , , |0 Comments

(The Hamilton Spectator - Saturday, February 15, 2014) KAMPALA, UGANDA ✦ Okay, maybe it’s too late for Sochi, but I hope you haven’t forgotten about Olympic hockey in Africa. Yes, dear members of the International Olympic Committee, I’m before you to personally share the good news of a Ugandan ice-hockey team. Of course, in Canada nobody says “ice” before “hockey” because Canadians realize hockey’s natural state is with ice, even the frozen-pond variety. Uganda, on the other hand, is a place where some poor soul with a hockey stick in-hand might yell out, “We’re Manchester United!” before informing you that he’s a “striker.” But I’m working on this and I’m happy to report remarkable progress.