The best time to talk to your nine-year-old boy about women’s plumbing and these sorts of sexually delicate territories is when he’s asleep. This is what every trying father discovers after said boy lays splayed on the living room floor pretending he’s having a baby. Yes, my son Jon was in obvious pain – it seems no epidural [...]
I don’t know. All this talk about sex and my manhood. It started when this post simply shared our updated family photo and the news that while the Family Dog is now in our annual shot, our family won’t get larger because I’ve had the snip-snip, that is a vasectomy. My Obstetrician Babe gave her [...]
“Hey, let’s talk about sex!” I said. I couldn’t help it. It was at the dinner table yesterday evening and Mom wasn’t there and it just sort of tumbled out. You know, like “Hey, pass the carrots, will ya?” Now, sure, I know my kids are sort of young. But I’ve already had some pretty [...]
The conversation with my so mature 8-year-old boy went like this: Jon: Dad, when are you going to tell Hannah about the birds and the bees? Me: When she’s ready. Jon: When will that be? Me: When she's ready. Then shortly later, the conversation, now with Jon and Hannah, all of seven, went like this. [...]
(Hamilton Spectator – Friday, July 26, 2013) Love has always been one of those loaded words, one that means everything and nothing at the same time because we can love the latest Bond movie or country music or summer rain, but this has nothing to do with summer love at, say, a July wedding, or the love that shows on the faces of a couple who have sailed through thick and thin.
The pressure is on for me to tell Hannah, our youngest, about the Birds and the Bees. It all started with Sexy Lady. No, Justin Bieber. Okay, all I can remember is Jon, in his eloquence and wisdom, was talking about the difference between women and ladies. This is how the discussion goes on the drive home [...]
We’re at the supper table with tacos and raw carrots and mom is not around and Jon looks at Liz and asks me if it’s possible for her to have a baby. ‘No,’ I said. This was my mistake. I should have just asked for more food or let out a good belch before pushing [...]
Really Dad, the birds and the bees? You told Jon about the birds and the bees? This is what Liz asked me. I had obviously made a mistake only a nine-year-old big sister could know. What? I said. I didn’t plan it. It just happened. Jon and I were sitting in his garden with the [...]