Several girls appear to be flat out in love with my son. They’re in his class. He’s 7.

Two have proposed. The third has asked him if he’s ever kissed a girl on the lips.

This unfolded when Jon was class VIP the other day. He was in front, in his VIP chair, answering questions one would expect – you know, he likes carrots and dolphins and the colour green.

I was present, listening, along with Sam the rabbit (who Jon brought from home for his VIP Day). Then two little hands shot up and the girls asked, one at a time, Will you marry me?

Jon pointed to one at a time, then said, Uhhhh … no and no.

The third girl, who asked him about the lip kissing, is named Scout. This tells us something.

Sam and I just looked at each other in disbelief.

On the way home, Jon lamented the difficult situation that he now finds himself in. I don’t know why everyone in my class loves me so much, he said.

This is where the parenting manuals don’t help.