Humour and Satire

Big

The thing about being a kid is that everything is so big, often bigger than in real life. Your home and neighbourhood, the bully at school, your parents … Everything but your younger sister, that is. It came up yesterday when I carried Jon on my shoulders along a dirt road here in Uganda. Am […]
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A billion friends can’t be wrong

So the owners called the other night. Actually they texted. Nobody calls anymore. They said I was getting too many friends, too fast. I said no, there’s a mistake, I only have three friends and two of them are our rabbits  — Sam and his live-in girlfriend. No, Friends, they said again, with a capital […]
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Liars, criminals … friends

It’s early in the morning on the elliptical with Handel’s Concerti Grossi Op. 3 – it’s always Handel’s Concerti Grossi Op. 3 on the elliptical in the mornings – playing as loud as possible with the windows open, one more reason I am such a top contender for the Neighbour of the Year Award. I’m […]
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Too young to marry

Several girls appear to be flat out in love with my son. They’re in his class. He’s 7. Two have proposed. The third has asked him if he’s ever kissed a girl on the lips. This unfolded when Jon was class VIP the other day. He was in front, in his VIP chair, answering questions […]
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Trading up

So, Jon is his class VIP all week, which gives him great power and prestige.   For one, he can bring things from home to give a picture of his off-school life. So he brought Sam, his rabbit.   Sam, you’ll recall , is one result of our place turning into a sort of funny […]
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What, me worry?

I am fatigued, lost, convalescing and having strange nightmares about talking trees and Martians eating cheesecake, but otherwise in good shape on this, my last full day of Single Daddin’ It. I’ve already told the children how immensely proud I am of their great accomplishments and fine behaviour in their mother’s absence, because, whether this […]
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My wife, the movie star

Thinking about my wife, who we all know is a babe. I’ve always appreciated this, along with other things, namely her heart. You also likely know that my wife is really, really famous. The Globe’s front page, Maclean’s feature, Global TV’s 16×9, Teasdale-Corti Award, G8 Summit speaker, advisor to the PM … these sorts of […]
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The cat has his word

All the puppies that in our care are now gone to the gardener, Paul, to find good homes for them. The decision was hastened when our cat ate a gecko lizard in protest of all the attention the pups were getting. I don’t have to tell you how much power the cat wields in this […]
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Watch that cat

So my wandering cat is back, and while I’m relieved, there’s little doubt at this point that he’s playing with me, toying with the situation, making me go more crazy while I lay in my bed alone all these nights and wonder if I will somehow lose the children before morning. But I am not […]
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Blowing up our playboy cat

Today’s question in my Diary of Single Daddin’ It relates to the cat. He’s Candy. He recently disappeared for six days. Went to his girlfriend’s or whatever. I thought of yet another cat funeral. We’ve had such in the past, with music and eulogies and real tears and all. On Day 2 of Single Daddin’ […]
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