The pressure is on for me to tell Hannah, our youngest, about the Birds and the Bees.
It all started with Sexy Lady. No, Justin Bieber. Okay, all I can remember is Jon, in his eloquence and wisdom, was talking about the difference between women and ladies.
This is how the discussion goes on the drive home from school. Especially when it’s International Women’s Day, a variation on the theme of Mother’s Day, a March holiday that, interestingly enough, is celebrated in places where women don’t tend to have the easiest lives.
‘A woman,’ Jon explained, ‘is someone who is not married. A lady is someone who is a mother.’
Where Sexy Lady came into all this, I can’t remember. Jon wanted to know what Sexy Lady meant. Liz responded that Sexy Lady is all about the Birds the Bees, which Jon does happen to know about. See http://www.dailydad.net/2012/birds-bees-rabbits/
Which then led to the pressure to explain it all to Hannah.
I said it’s not the right time.
‘But she really wants to know,’ Liz pleaded, now at home.
‘Exactly,’ I said. ‘Which is why I’m not telling her.’
‘But you told Jon.’
‘Because he didn’t ask,’ I said.
You have to trust me on this, people. Call it the ‘ask – don’t tell’ policy.